Have you ever had one of those moments where you see someone else’s photos on Facebook and think
“Why wasn’t I invited?”
Because that sh*t used to trigger me SO bad.
Before I started fixing my limiting beliefs around my own self-worth, I used to say yes to EVERYTHING.
Because I was SO scared of that feeling of being left behind. Of being left out. Of people thinking I was boring and never did anything “fun”
But when I started saying NO to people and ONLY taking on things I loved, I had three surprising side effects.
Side Effect of Boundaries #1 – I take more risks (with higher rewards)
When you say no to things you really don’t want to do, you have more space to say yes to things you love.
Boundaries can literally help you build you dream life because you are pruning all the things you don’t want and replace it with things you do.
Since learning how to set boundaries and REALLY think about whether I want to do things, I have done things like:
- Start a business
- Got a well-paid part time job to fund my business building
- Been asked to speak on podcasts
- Moved into a cute inner city apartment
- Bought a fancy coffee machine because I didn’t want crappy coffee
- Started walking dogs just because
- Started competing in dance competitions
But how have I done that? By saying no to things I DIDN’T want! Things like:
- My old boss wanting me to stay in my job even though I hated it
- People telling us that the city is too expensive and to dream smaller
- Teachers telling me I HAVE to get a grad job after graduating
The truth is, you can do whatever the hell you want x
Side Effects of Boundaries #2 – I found better friends
When I was at university, I lived with people I REALLY didn’t get along with that well. They weren’t bad people, they just weren’t MY people.
I remember walking to class one day thinking
“God I am so DRAINED. I am so boring and never do anything fun.”
Then it hit me that I was so tired because I was with people that weren’t “my people” and I thought I was boring because I was saying yes to things I didn’t actually like (I will NEVER again go white water kayaking).
Once I realized this, I moved in with some other friends who were SO. EXCITED for me to move in, and I found myself again.
These are the people who ended up being part of our wedding, that we now see for dumpling nights and movies, and that make me feel like I can “Be Lucy”.
Side Effects of Boundaries #3 – I have WAY more energy
Imagine you are like a battery. Everything either charges you or drains you.
If you are saying YES to things that drain you, then your mental battery will NEVER be full.
Since learning how to set boundaries, I still get tired sometimes of course, but my energy is my own.
It’s ME that gets to decide how much love, energy and time I put into things/people.
Which of these resonates with you the most? Which side effect are you craving the most?
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